I have made the decision to go back to taking the medication Antabuse. I am not a fan of it because in the past I have decided it was a "cure," and then when the meds ran out or I "forgot" to take it, I would go back to drinking. I was using the Antabuse as a substitute for working a program, going to therapy, etc. But now that I know that nothing takes the place of a true recovery program, I am hoping to have better success. I'll be using the Antabuse to put some time and distance between myself and that last drink while I start a program.
Looks like I will be away from my kids for another couple weeks at least. But the powers that be have decided that I can indeed stay overnight at my mother's house when I go visit them. That's something to look forward to.
Now, I have to work on cleaning myself up and pounding the pavement - time for job hunting which of course totally sucks in this economy. Wish me luck.
Middle School Heart
11 years ago
Take it easy -- too many changes at once can blow your mind. I don't know anything about this med. Was it presribed?
ReplyDeleteHang in there, sweetie.
Sue
You are very brave. Thank you for sharing your journey - it helps me, and I hope it helping you, too.
ReplyDeleteA couple of things that helped me in the very early days (indeed still help me) - distract yourself as best you can. I watched a LOT of comedy -- I needed to laugh a little. I can't tell you how many times I watched "Airplane" and Monty Python in my first few months.
Try to go easy on yourself. You don't need to tackle everything at once, it will all come in due time. If you manage a day without a drink you have done an amazing thing, and be proud of yourself.
If you like to read, this helped me, too. Another commenter mentioned Augusten Burrough's book Dry - that is a great one. Another one that helped me a ton is "A Place Called Self" by Stephanie Brown. I'll read anything by David Sedaris - he doesn't write specifically about recovery, but he is sober and he is very funny.
And keep talking - even if it is only on your blog. I see you have joined SoberMoms - that is a great commnity, too. Hearing your own voice speak your own truth is very powerful. The disease wants you quiet and alone. Reaching out is very hard to do, but you know you're not alone and we're rooting for you.
Hang in there,
Ellie