Day Eleven

I am shaking right now. I woke up this morning to find in my email box quite a nasty little note from someone who managed to do some research on me on the internet. I have a very public blog I keep in addition to this one and my articles and books and facts about my personal and professional life can be found in various very public places. I don't mind. And I share more about myself than most people do (my alcoholism excepted). Still, it hasn't been a big deal - occasionally cheek-reddening but nothing I can't handle.

Until this morning. The email I got was the type of hurtful personal attack that could easily reduce me to tears. And once reduced to tears comes the self-doubt, self-pity, how-do-I-find-a-way-to-stop-hurting self-talk. We know where that eventually leads all too often. So, what do I do about it today? How do I handle this in a healthy way? I hope writing here is the first indicator that I have chosen to handle things differently now than I would have in the past. But, I have to be totally honest and reveal that before I came to post here, I spent 45 minutes researching this person, googling myself, resetting the privacy settings on various social networking accounts, etc. But that is done and what I do not want to do is keep dwelling on it and turn it into a festering resentment or at the very least something that will absolutely ruin how I feel about myself for the rest of the day.

I'll take a walk after breakfast, get some other writing done, spend some quality talking time with my sister, and later today, go to a meeting. I feel better already.